Unwanted Children

One of the most important issues and one that is conveniently overlooked by journalists and other media outlets is that of unwanted children. Of those who think about having children and what is required to be good parents there are many more who enjoy sex and realize that children can be a result of sex and produce children without wanting them. With the past family experience all couples are expected to take good care of babies when they happen but that is not to say they are wanted. When they come there is usually a bonding that takes place but not always. Even the bonding does not underline a wanting of the child.

Another large percent of the child bearing population may claim to want a child or children but as time goes by there are other desires more important such as making money and being involved in all sorts of things to do “while we are still young.” I have used the example of the couple sitting in their comfortable living room watching TV while there two boys are in the garage making bombs. These are unwanted children.

I see unbelievable sadness in so many wrong doers as featured in our publications and other media, all of whom I suspect were unwanted children.

Two recently released prisoners who stalked and killed three of a family of four in a neighboring town were apprehended and their photos shown to all. I think we can all guarantee that those pathetic humans were unwanted victims of our society.

A major problem in many of our cities are gangs . We read more and more about them and there is a good example of children who had no family life and join the gang to be part of a family. It seems fair to me that all such were unwanted children.

Let’s make haste to say that many unwanted children mature to be

successful adults who contribute to the well being of society but I believe the overwhelming number of criminals, both petty and major, were first unwanted children.Let’s talk about solutions. One answer that is so obvious it should be necessary to mention but all couples, married and unmarried, too, should have detailed instructions in not only child bearing but in child rearing. The male should have spelled out in detail what is expected of him in this the most important commitment of the pairs’ lives.

I think of two families who have children who are all achievers and let me mention some of the facts I have seen in their rearing of the children.The first was the family of an engineer who worked up to a responsible position in an aircraft company. He and his wife had 5 children, three boys and two girls. In spite of the fact that the children were spaced a year and a half or so apart. There was virtually never a time when one of the parents was not waiting for the school bus to drop the children off. Each had a paper route and had to deliver papers in different areas of town. As they grew the younger children would help an older one. If one had extra curricular activities after school the mother was there to pick the child up. All excelled scholastically and all have become graduates of prestige universities and have good jobs or marriages.

The second family also had five children and coincidentally three boys and two girls as in the first family. The father was a plumber and a good one who never advertised as he was in demand for the quality of his reputation. Once again the formula for the children was similar with the children being where they were supposed to be every moment of their lives until they each left the warmth of their family. I recall a time when the plumber took his last high school aged boy all over New England to play hockey. Time after time when I tried to contact the father he was away to take the boy to a hockey game. One day I tried to comment in as gentle way as possible that if the boy spent some of his hockey time with books he would shine. The father casually mentioned that the boy had been among the top students in his high school for four years. He was a scholar athlete and went on to college where he continued his high scholastic standards but elected not to play hockey.

One of the daughters is a successful lawyer. The youngest son has elected to take over his Dad’s business and he is a top artisan in his trade.

So one feature of developing successful adults is in the rearing of the children.youngsters and apparently knowing where and what they are doing every minute of their young lives. Perhaps these parents in retirement should become instructors to couples who should be taught of the dos and don’ts of bringing up children.

There is the other side of the coin and that is to prevent unwanted children in the first place. Beginning 15 years after Roe vs. Wade in the Supreme Court a strange thing happened. The crime rate in the City of New

York began dropping and for 5 years it continued to drop. The crime rate in Chicago continued to rise during the same years. Two enterprising lawyersstudied that situation and found that after that Supreme Court decision the

City of New York supported poor women financially to have abortions of unwanted children. The City of Chicago refused to offer financial aid for abortion. It does seem that the reduction of unwanted children was a major reason in the crime rate reduction.

It seems like common sense to not only encourage but to pay those who do not want a child to have an abortion. The savings in the tragedies of crime would be significant both financially and in reducing the emotional entanglement of members of society.

In my state a plumber, steam fitter, electrician, hu

One of the most important issues and one that is conveniently

overlooked by journalists and other media outlets is that of unwanted

children. Of those who think about having children and what is required to

be good parents there are many more who enjoy sex and realize that children

can be a result of sex and produce children without wanting them. With the

past family experience all couples are expected to take good care of babies

when they happen but that is not to say they are wanted. When they come

there is usually a bonding that takes place but not always. Even the bonding

does not underline a wanting of the child.

Another large percent of the child bearing population may claim they

want a child or children but as time goes by there are other desires more

important such as making money and being involved in all sorts of things to

do “while we are still young.” I have used the example of the couple sitting

in their comfortable living room watching TV while there two boys are in

the garage making bombs. These are unwanted children.

I see unbelievable sadness in so many wrong doers as featured in our

publications and other media, all of whom I suspect were unwanted children.

Two recently released prisoners who stalked and killed three of a family of

four in a neighboring town were apprehended and their photos shown to all.

I think we can all guarantee that those pathetic humans were unwanted

victims of our society.

A major problem in many of our cities are gangs . We read more and

more about them and there is a good example of children who had no family

life and join the gang to be part of a family. It seems fair to me that all such

were unwanted children.

Let’s make haste to say that many unwanted children mature to be

successful adults who contribute to the well being of society but I believe the

overwhelming number of criminals, both petty and major, were first

unwanted children.

Let’s talk about solutions. One answer that is so obvious it should not

be necessary to mention but all couples, married and unmarried, too, should

have detailed instructions in not only child bearing but in child rearing. The

male should have spelled out in detail what is expected of him in this the

most important commitment of the pairs’ lives.

I think of two families who have children who are all achievers and let

me mention some of the facts I have seen in their rearing of the children.

The first was the family of an engineer who worked up to a responsible

position in an aircraft company. He and his wife had 5 children, three boys

and two girls. In spite of the fact that the children were spaced a year and a

half or so apart. There was virtually never a time when one of the parents

was not waiting for the school bus to drop the children off. Each had a paper

route and had to deliver papers in different areas of town. As they grew the

younger children would help an older one. If one had extra curricular

activities after school the mother was there to pick the child up. All excelled

scholastically and all have become graduates of prestige universities and

have good jobs or marriages.

The second family also had five children and coincidently three boys

and two girls as in the first family. The father was a plumber and a good one

who never advertised as he was in demand for the quality of his reputation.

Once again the formula for the children was similar with the children being

where they were supposed to be every moment of their lives until they each

left the warmth of their family. I recall a time when the plumber took his last

high school aged boy all over New England to play hockey. Time after time

when I tried to contact the father he was away to take the boy to a hockey

game. One day I tried to comment in as gentle way as possible that if the boy

spent some of his hockey time with books he would shine. The father

casually mentioned that the boy had been among the top students in his high

school for four years. He was a scholar athlete and went on to college where

he continued his high scholastic standards but elected not to play hockey.

One of the daughters is a successful lawyer. The youngest son has

elected to take over his Dad’s business and he is a top artisan in his trade.

So one feature of developing successful adults is in the rearing of the

youngsters and apparently knowing where and what they are doing every

minute of their young lives. Perhaps these parents in retirement should

become instructors to couples who should be taught of the dos and don’ts of

bringing up children.

There is the other side of the coin and that is to prevent unwanted

children in the first place. Beginning 15 years after Roe vs. Wade in the

Supreme Court a strange thing happened. The crime rate in the City of New

York began dropping and for 5 years it continued to drop. The crime rate in

Chicago continued to rise during the same years. Two enterprising lawyers

studied that situation and found that after that Supreme Court decision the

City of New York supported poor women financially to have abortions of

unwanted children. The City of Chicago refused to offer financial aid for

abortion. It does seem that the reduction of unwanted children was a major

reason in the crime rate reduction.

It seems like common sense to not only encourage but to pay those

who do not want a child to have an abortion. The savings in the tragedies of

crime would be significant both financially and in reducing the emotional

entanglement of members of society.

In my state a plumber, steam fitter, electrician, human physician,

veterinary physician and dentist as well as realtor, nurse and beauty expert and a

myriad of other disciplines all have to pass written examinations before they

can practice their professions. AND can you imagine that to produce a baby

is done with absolutely no training or knowledge. The most important

endeavor in life and no guidance by society. Not even a suggestion!

Once again, it is a time for a

man physician, veterinary physician and dentist as well as realtor, nurse and beauty expert and a myriad of other disciplines all have to pass written examinations before they can practice their professions. AND can you imagine that to produce a baby is done with absolutely no training or knowledge. The most important endeavor in life and no guidance by society. Not even a suggestion!